soulus: (01)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-17 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
[He watches the water scatter with Fiora's kicks. His emotions waver momentarily.]

. . . You still haven't figured it out?
soulus: (10)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-17 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
[A very faint emotion hits the bottom and fades like a droplet of water. Just like that, his disappointment leaves as quickly as it came. But the low thrum of frustration that's seeped in with it remains, creating steady ripples even now.]

I spend it on ammunition for the next contract.
soulus: (13)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-17 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
[He meets her concern with muted curiosity of his own, covering up some of his frustration. No one's asked that before.]

My health isn't a concern.
soulus: (08)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-17 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
[She's fighting an uphill battle. Her determination is misplaced, and he focuses on the fleeting twinge of emotion, seizing it in his mind before it vanishes.

Combined with her words, her heart is like an open book—and so is his, in its own way, as anger spreads anew at the mention of his debt. It spreads and spreads until he's left feeling borderline numb.
]

. . . I spent money I didn't have. That's all.
soulus: (01)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-17 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
[But the numbness doesn't last long. It disintegrates after a moment, taking some of the edge off of his anger in the process. He has the clarity to be fully present again, and just in time to be uncertain of where Fiora is going.]

What do you mean?
soulus: (06)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-17 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[When he thinks of his mother, a chasm opens deep in his heart. His anger sparks again, but it's nothing to the grief and love that pour out like an all-consuming flood.]

. . . I wasn't the one who made sacrifices.
soulus: (01)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-19 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
[The flood ebbs, leaving behind melancholy. In his mind, all he did was bear witness to his mother's being made one such sacrifice by his father's choices—the same choices that have left him bitter for so many years. He still has his youth, health, and even a future; what has he given up?

The question rings inwardly as he watches her rise. Yes, he thinks, he definitely still has his health.
]

There's no point in looking for something that might not be there.
soulus: (01)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-19 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
[Fun is not productive.]

What did you see in the water earlier?
soulus: (05)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-19 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
Why do I have to do that?
soulus: (01)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-19 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
I don't remember . . . It's not important.
soulus: (05)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-19 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
I will take a break once the competition is over.
soulus: (17)

[personal profile] soulus 2020-10-21 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
. . . Once I kill him . . . I will have time.

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